When I saw Lena on the dance floor of The Edge, I thought I was imagining things. Of course I had to be imagining things. She couldn’t be there. It was just wishful thinking.

I missed her so much, I’d seen her face everywhere since I’d been turned. I’d been very careful not to go any place where I thought she might be. The last thing I wanted was for her to attract my Sire’s or my clan’s attention. She deserved better.

I knew she was still looking for me. Still hoping. There were still flyers posted around campus, with my face, my name and her phone number. I so wished I could have called, but what would I have said? If I’d told her to stop looking for me, she’d only have looked harder. If I had told her what happened to me, she’d have wanted to see me. No, it was better if I didn’t try to contact her.

But when I realized I wasn’t imagining things, when I realized she was really there, I forgot everything, forgot all the reasons why it was better if I stayed away from her. And I just went to her.

I don’t want to go to that Halloween party.

Alice nagged me for weeks about it, and I guess in the end I just said yes because I wanted her to stop asking, but the truth is, I don’t want to go. I’m really not in the mood to party, or do much for that matter. I won’t stop studying because it was Liam’s dream as much as it is mine to become a doctor, but everything else seems to have become unnecessary.

I know my friends and my family worry about me. I know they’d like me to move on. But how can I, when we don’t even know for sure what happened to Liam? Maybe he’ll come back. Maybe he’s just fine. Maybe…

I don’t want to go to that party. How could I have fun when I’ve lost the one man I ever loved?