When I saw Lena on the dance floor of The Edge, I thought I was imagining things. Of course I had to be imagining things. She couldn’t be there. It was just wishful thinking.

I missed her so much, I’d seen her face everywhere since I’d been turned. I’d been very careful not to go any place where I thought she might be. The last thing I wanted was for her to attract my Sire’s or my clan’s attention. She deserved better.

I knew she was still looking for me. Still hoping. There were still flyers posted around campus, with my face, my name and her phone number. I so wished I could have called, but what would I have said? If I’d told her to stop looking for me, she’d only have looked harder. If I had told her what happened to me, she’d have wanted to see me. No, it was better if I didn’t try to contact her.

But when I realized I wasn’t imagining things, when I realized she was really there, I forgot everything, forgot all the reasons why it was better if I stayed away from her. And I just went to her.

I don’t want to go to that Halloween party.

Alice nagged me for weeks about it, and I guess in the end I just said yes because I wanted her to stop asking, but the truth is, I don’t want to go. I’m really not in the mood to party, or do much for that matter. I won’t stop studying because it was Liam’s dream as much as it is mine to become a doctor, but everything else seems to have become unnecessary.

I know my friends and my family worry about me. I know they’d like me to move on. But how can I, when we don’t even know for sure what happened to Liam? Maybe he’ll come back. Maybe he’s just fine. Maybe…

I don’t want to go to that party. How could I have fun when I’ve lost the one man I ever loved?

I’ve never had as much fun as I did last night. I’ve pranked the frat house for four years in a row, last night was the fifth time – and the last – but it was also the best prank ever. And the fact that Hunter was there with me made it even more special.

When I went to college, there was this guy I kinda liked. We tried doing a few spells together, but his fraternity brothers decided that anyone pretending they could do magic were lying, and they convinced him to stop. I’ve been proving them wrong every Halloween ever since.

It’s always the same show I offer them: illusions of light and sound, icy bursts of wind. None of it would harm a fly, but it always spooks the frat boys and their party friends. But this year, with Hunter at my side, it was on a whole different level. We combined our skills and made up an entire army of ghosts wailing their way into the frat house, crashing the Halloween party there. Hunter added some thunder claps that sounded as loud as though lightning had fallen right outside. I raised a phantom wind that rattled the windows.

It was just moments before people started running out screaming.

It wasn’t much longer after that when we started hearing police sirens.

This was the craziest night of my life – or at least the craziest night to date. I have a feeling that this might not be the last time Cole invites me along for a wild ride.

For the past week, he’s been teaching me new magic spells – more impressive ones – and pushing me beyond what I thought I would be able to do. He always says I have more raw power than he does, but he’s had years to practice and hone his skills. I didn’t even know I had the potential to do magic until I met Cole and he told me about it. It’ll take me many more lessons before I get to the point where Cole stops telling me I can do better.

Then again, I don’t exactly mind spending time with him, so I’m in no hurry.

Tonight was the most magic I’ve done to date, and the most magic we’ve ever done together, too. It was Halloween, and he asked me if I’d help him prank this frat house at the university he attended. He didn’t say why he wanted to prank them, but it’s not all that hard to imagine. He’s a loner. Frat boys would be pretty much the opposite of who he is. Clashes sometimes leave scars; revenge can be a soothing balm…

I said yes – of course I said yes – and when he drove us down to campus, he told me that he doesn’t know anyone in that frat house anymore, but he’s been pranking them every year on Halloween; it’s his own little tradition. This year, he wanted to make it beyond anything he had done so far: a grand finale of sort before he moved on, and he wanted me to be part of it.

He parked across the street and we got out of the car to stand in front of a large, wannabe-Victorian mansion. We could hear music from across the street; clearly they were having a Halloween party. Cole looked at me and grinned. He asked if I was ready. I was – or at least I thought I was. I never expected things would turn out so great. Or that we’d end up running from the campus police.

All I wanted when I left home was to see the stars. Travel from world to world, meet other people, discover things I couldn’t even imagine.

I didn’t care that the Danaus was a small, beat up ship. She’s home, now. And I even started referring to her as a ‘she’ like Kar does.

I didn’t care either that Kar couldn’t offer me much money. As long as I am in a spaceship, money doesn’t matter all that much. I mean, it’d be nice to be able to buy souvenirs when we stop somewhere, but even if I don’t get trinkets I’ll always have my memories.

And I especially didn’t care that what we did wasn’t always on the legal side of things. It was all part of the adventure.

I thought that, as long as I was in space, I wouldn’t care about anything else. But then I started caring a great deal about someone. More than caring, in fact. Jay wasn’t any of the things I’d have expected I’d want from someone, but I do want him, more than anything – almost more than I want to travel.

And then we did that heist on that moon, and the way I looked at Kar changed, too.

It’s a strange path I’ve taken, and I don’t know where it will lead me – where it will lead us - but that’s all right. It’s the journey that matters, not the destination.

Strictly speaking, the Danaus didn’t need a third crew member. I’ve never had a problem with manual labor, and being the captain just means I get to make the decisions; it doesn’t stop me from loading and unloading cargo. And as far as maintenance is concerned, I’d rather get my hands dirty than trust the Danaus to anyone. She’s temperamental and likes to give me scares at the worst possible moments, but she’s a good ship and she’s mine. If anyone is going to play with her insides, it’s me.

Jay is pretty good at carrying his weight as well. I’ve got to say, when I first hired him I didn’t expect him to last long. He’s a good pilot – he’s a great pilot – but the tattoos around his neck made it clear that he never had to work with his hands. I’m also sure he never suspected that anyone can survive on food squares for weeks at a time. I bet he’s more used to fancy food served fresh from the field. He never complains, though. He has looked at the food with everything from disgust to annoyance, but he has never complained, not about what I feed him and not about being asked to help loading cargo when we have big jobs. I like that about him.

The problem is, it’s not the only thing I like about him, far from it. And I know it’s a bad idea for me to take a close interest in Jay. Not because he’s my pilot and I’m the captain. That doesn’t matter one bit. But what does matter is the tattoo on his neck. One of these days, the Lodge is going to come looking for him, and if he doesn’t go quietly it’s not going to be pretty.

This, ultimately, is why I took on Wil during our last stop – well that and the fact that Wil was ready to work practically for free as long as he got to be on a spaceship. I had a feeling, right from the start, that the two of them would hit it off. I figured that if they got together I would stop looking at Jay too closely. I’ve never been one to hunt another man’s game. Steal things, yes, but not someone’s affections.

What I never expected was that they’d be so open about it. The Danaus isn’t a big ship, sure, but they could still manage to be discreet if they only tried. But they don’t try, or not that hard. And now, not only am I still lusting after Jay, I’m also starting to develop a thing for Wil, too.

That can’t possibly end well.

I can’t remember anymore when I first decided I wouldn’t take my place in the family business the way I was expected to. It seemed so evident, maybe I always knew I’d end up running away.

I know my mother thought I was only going through a ‘phase’ as she called it. She tried everything she could to get me out of it.

Punishments. Those consisted of taking away things and activities I enjoyed; the only time she ever raised her hand on me I was an adult, and that was the day I left.

Bribes. She thought that by giving me more and more things, I’d realize the way to always have what I wanted was to follow the path that had been traced for me. All it did was make me grow tired of possessions that had no meaning.

Threats. She took me to a planet on the outer range, once. We walked through the dusty streets of something that could at best be called a village, and she pointed out all the things that these people didn’t have that I took for granted. All the things I would lose if I continued to rebel. All I could see was how much more alive these people seemed compared to us.

None of it worked. I knew what I wanted, and it wasn’t anything she or anyone in our world could offer me. The tattooed circles around my neck only meant one thing, as far as I was concerned: I had been collared from birth, and I needed to free myself.

So I did.